The Dementia Journey · A free resource from Caring Companions

When Dementia Says Something Hurtful

For the hour after. Print this, fold it, and keep it where the bad nights can find it: a wallet, a nightstand, the kitchen drawer. Read it slowly. More than once is allowed.

This is painful, even when it comes from brain changes. Both things are true.

I do not have to argue my innocence repeatedly. One calm answer is enough.

I can protect safety without winning the argument.

I am allowed to step away. Stepping away is a skill, not a surrender.

The recognition is time-shifted, not gone. The love is still filed under my face, a few decades back.

Being hurt by a symptom is not weakness. It is proof that my heart was involved.

A hard moment does not erase years of love. Mine or theirs.

I may need help. Needing help is part of caregiving, not the failure of it.

And the lines that never bend: if anyone is in immediate danger, call 911 (tell them it's a person with dementia). If aggression is new or growing, tell their healthcare provider. If you are in emotional crisis, call or text 988, caregivers use it too. You never have to be the only one holding this.